❤️ Why Sometimes Love Is The Best Parenting Solution ❤️
When you’re having a tough day with your child, one thing that can reduce everyone’s stress and overwhelm is to focus your mind on love…
Before deciding that’s too simple, remember the research on feeling loved being at the foundation of self confidence, happiness and resilience.
Next time your children are driving you mad… Stop thinking, steady your breathing, don’t worry about the next moment and make your next move an expression of LOVE.
Love reconnects. Love forgives. Love renews. Love energises…
Differences in opinions, bad moods and power struggles suffocate love.
Moments like these are desperate for a steady person in the room to shift the focus and take the lead. Remove the agenda, the lessons, the talking and focus on nothing more than the love you have for your child. It’s not easy when you’re cross with that little person so don’t fret if you’re struggling at first to do this.
Yes, children need clear boundaries. They need that word, ‘no’ and they need natural consequences for their troublesome behaviour. They need your leadership to live with character and values.
It’s just, they’re young. Whether they’re three or fifteen – they’re trying to work the world out. They’ll naturally rebel as they develop their own identity and make many mistakes along the way. If most of your communication on those tough days is around correcting and disciplining, things go backwards – fast.
Expressing your love shows you see them separately from their mistakes and that you love and like them for who they are. They are more likely to listen to and thrive from your expression of love than anything else.
So when you’re next overwhelmed, when it’s all gone south, the best chance of turning things around is to save your energy for love.
Use your instinct to pick what expression of love your child will respond to. If you want some ideas to start off, try an act of love and reconnection from below…
- Smile
- Make eye contact
- Hold their face lovingly in your hands.
- Offer a hug.
- Say,’ I’m sorry we’re arguing.’
- Ask, ‘can we hit delete and move on?’
- Say, ‘I love you too much to waste our time together on this’.
- Say, ‘I love you,’
- Write a love letter to them.
- Put on their favourite music and if you feel like it, break into song and dance like nothing’s happened.
- Compliment their character.
- Reflect on a happy memory from their babyhood, early childhood or today!
- Look at family photos together.
- Tell them how thankful you are they were born.
- Laugh
- Have a pillow fight
- Stare at the TV together if it’s the only way you can get over your frustration with them and lead back into love.
- Get outside or inside – just change the scenery!
- Be active together.
Do whatever it takes to return your focus to love and nothing else. Break the messy behaviour circuit with love. It rarely fails.
Remember, you don’t need to know what to do all the time. No one does (including the parenting experts!) You don’t have to teach or guide them every time they make a mistake. You don’t have to be perfect or get it ‘right.’ They don’t have to be perfect either.
Parent with confidence in yourself, your instincts and your love. You are doing great.
Thank you for reading xx Madhavi ❤️
Madhavi Nawana Parker is a Globally Published Author, Behaviour Consultant, Public Speaker and Mother of three. To book her for a session at your school or health care/ community setting, please email solutionsforkids@outlook.com
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